Employee Abuse

I just left a meeting with my son’s basketball coach. The meeting was long overdue; probably because I was slow to figure out that what the coach was doing to my sons and his team mates was a form of abuse. Basketball is a sport after all. It involves sweat, locker rooms and motivational speeches. But finally, I realized that the swearing, yelling, finger pointing and belittling comments that went on during and after games went way beyond the boundaries of team inspiration. They were hurtful and damaging.

I’m no newcomer to the topic of abuse. What parent is? We are appalled to learn of parents who belittle their children and we label their behavior “verbal abuse.” We are taught to look for signs of physical and emotional abuse in our students, neighbors and friends and are counseled on how to report it. We attend parenting classes and learn how to control our anger and frustration rather than lashing out at children who are less powerful than we are.

But what about “employee abuse?” What about the supervisor who yells at his employees and demeans them either privately or in front of their peers? What about the executive who goes on a periodic tirade and lashes out at staff members who are organizationally less powerful? Sometimes, the abuse is more passive. A manager becomes angry with an employee for disagreeing and withholds information, excludes the employee from special assignments, or rescinds invitations to special events.

I am amazed at how many people I talk to have experienced some form of employee abuse first hand. Still others have heard stories in hallway conversations or exit interviews. Some people even deny that these behaviors are abusive. This is business, after all, and people should not take these things personally. But employee abuse can and does happen to people of all races, age, or gender, and it hurts not only the employee, but the organization itself.

It creates a hostile work environment, damages self-esteem and makes people fearful. When employees are afraid to say what’s on their minds, when they are afraid to make mistakes, share their ideas, or tell the emperor that he has no clothes, they cannot do what’s right for the business.

Employee abuse will only stop when we acknowledge that it is wrong. So, starting today, let’s take a stand against it. Start by calling it what it is. If you manage other managers, make it clear that abusive behavior is unacceptable and that there will be consequences for these behaviors. Then give them alternative outlets for their stress and anger.

A lawyer friend of mine once said, “There is no law against bad management.” Maybe not, but I’m going to fight it anyway.

"When angry, count to ten before you speak; if very angry, one hundred.”Thomas Jefferson